It’s funny how we found each other. How sure we are of each other and how certain we are that we are connected. We are a mirror of each other, to remind each other what path we want to be on, and what kind of people we want to be. We grow each other, while giving one another the freedom to be their own person and live their own lives. Up until now, I didn’t imagine that freedom and togetherness could coexist. But they thrive together.
I finally see what a relationship is like where you don’t grasp onto the other person, or onto an idea of the person. You don’t grasp onto labels, or fantasies, or emotions that are not there. You let it be. And at first, I thought there was no way I could feel this calm. Something had to be wrong. It was too good to be true. So I allowed my brain to fill up with anxiety and fear-based lies, until I realized that I was forcing that onto myself, because it’s what I felt my whole life. It’s what I was comfortable with. I laughed at how wrong that was, and vowed to heal myself, and my past wounds. I vowed to not let my past interfere with my present again.
This is what it should feel like. The safe, blissful serenity of a relationship where you can release your inner child, and also discuss the darker parts of your lives. All without holding back. All without judgement, or fear of rejection. Fear will always be there, but in those moments with him, I choose to see love instead of fear. And it’s so easy for me to choose love with him.
To appreciate the serendipity of meeting each other. Of being a part of each others lives and wanting the best for eachother. Trusting each other naturally, but without attaching ourselves to that trust.
Anything can happen. But you mustn’t attach to the outcome. You can choose to trust, to love, to grow, to change, regardless of what may happen in the future. And this flood of happiness, surrender, and gentle love feels undeniably right. It feels light, whole, and pure. It is bliss. It is honesty and real. It’s where I should be now. In this moment, I know I was meant to meet him, and be with him. My heart overpowers my brain and its fears. And I can let love in. I can let myself be loved because I am allowed to feel love and be loved. I understand that now.
I also understand the importance of unconditional trust, and listening to your intuition. I don’t worry about his loyalty, or honesty. I used to think I should, even though it didn’t feel natural. I realized I will never know if he is truly truthful, or loyal. As long as I feel like I can trust him, I will do so unconditionally without questioning him in a passive aggressive manner as if trying to catch him in my trap. It’s toxic.
I never once felt the need to do that. I also never felt the need to change him. We can mould into each other’s lives, but without compromising our own lives and independence. We are still our own person. And we let each other be, even if we are always there for one another. I believe that with open communication, there is no reason to try and catch someone in a lie. To try to plant traps for them. It’s exhausting, negative, and unnecessary with the right person. With the right love.
source :