According to Quora Writer
Okie Cavies, healthy marriage for 16+ years
I don’t believe in standardized answers to these things - experience has taught me that relationships are too individual. Even though common trends emerge from analyzing groups of relationships, it does not always work to reverse that equation and make generalizations fit every unique relationship.
Having said that, I think there are some things that are crucial to consider.
One is friendship capability. Sexual sparks are great, but they are not something to base a relationship on. Eventually you have to be able to be friends at some level too, in order to have a long term relationship. How deep or shallow that friendship is varies from couple to couple.
Another is mutual acceptance. In other words, a willingness to accept the other person as they are, but also being willing to help them work through the baggage they brought with them, and having that be mutual. If one partner is not able or willing to acknowledge the baggage they bring with them, it can make the relationship unhealthy.
Another is simple compatibility. If one is highly ambitious and the other is laid back, it will eventually cause friction in the relationship. This is a little more nebulous to define, and can be insidious in long term relationships. At first it may be exotic to have a new view, because ‘opposites attract’ is a saying for a reason, but in the long run it can cause deep rifts in the relationship if not managed in a healthy way.
I’m sure there are more. I’m also sure that some of these are true for some relationships but not others. As I said, general trends can be extrapolated from groups of couples, but this does not work very well in reverse.
2 Benjamin Balke, Blogger at Economicsis: (2018-present)
To me it is kind of like a waterfall. The first and biggest part is if you and your potential spouse are on the same page spiritually. The part has to do with family. The third part of the falls is career and the final is interests.
Marriage is hard, even if al of these things are in line but having the conversations before getting married is very helpful.
3 Amanda Ramsey, Cake Decorator at Food Lion (2014-present)
- finances, do you share a similar view on savings and spending
- family, are they close or distant, how do they support/treat their family. Do I want children, do they?
- faith, if I’m a spiritual person do they align with my beliefs and if I’m not do they align with my beliefs
Where will we live and where do we want to live in future? (City/country, appartment/house, old or new property?)
Will we have separate rooms? (If he snores then that is a must for some nights!).
Is he cool with not having kids? (Or just fostering).
What career paths are we both going to go down and what will that mean for income, free time and time available to spend together?