I know you see plenty of good qualities in him. You’re convinced that he’s the one worth spending your endless moments with. Everything he does is admirable to you. He’s the hero that you think will save your long, lonely nights. But the problem is he doesn’t like you the way you do. He can’t give you the love that you’re giving him. And so, once in a while, you get this feeling that maybe it’s time you give up chasing him.
The fact is, romance can’t be forced. It happens naturally. Sometimes in an instant. Sometimes in the right time. If he makes it too obvious that both of you will never have future together, all you can do is believe that. Because it’s his way of preventing you from wasting your time. You don’t have to invest your emotion when it’s crystal clear that there’s no benefit you can get from liking a certain guy.
I know it’s easy to take it personal when he decides to fall in love with someone else. But that’s his decision. You have zero influence about how he wants to run his life. As soon as you learn that his heart has been claimed by another person, the best thing that you can do is move on. Find a world that you can live in without him. Learn to breathe without him.
I’m sure there’s a better guy coming in your way. This thought may not make sense to you right now. But one day, it will. Especially when you remember the times that he let you hang by the thread. When you patiently waited for him like a fool, hoping he would change his mind about you. But just so you know, it’s never too late to kill whatever hopes that you have for him.
All the kindness that he showed you before meant nothing special. His smiles at you were never an invitation to fall for him more. The late night text conversations that you had with each other weren’t leading into a potential relationship. You had it all wrong. You read his intentions wrongly. And those mistakes should be enough reasons for you to separate ways with him. Because the less you see him, the smoother it is for you to recover from the feelings he gave you.
In as much as it’s painful to come into terms with the truth that he never wanted a piece of your heart, eventually, you have to accept it. He can never love you more than as a friend. And maybe it’s not your fault. There’s nothing you can do about it. But you can take your disappointments with you as you walk away, and learn from them.
Feel free to understand your emotions. Ask yourself what is it that makes him so important to you. Why did you allow yourself to stick around him despite his lack of interest in having a relationship with you? It’s okay to find answers. It’s okay to search for meanings. Because your conclusions will help you leave your memories with him behind and heal.
One person not having the capacity to fall for you doesn’t mean nobody else will. The guy that you like so bad just happens to have stronger feelings for a different person. Your preferences and his preferences are not matched. Maybe in alternate universe, the two of you would have better chances. But this is your reality. And sometimes you just have to learn to move forward with it.
If he can’t love you back, the best thing that you can do is to leave. Staying will only hurt you. Staying will only feed your mind false hopes. And you shouldn’t be keeping a guy in your life who can’t be there with you all the time. Feel free to turn off your love for him. Feel free to widen the gap that separates you from him.
When you take the necessary steps to slip away from his influence over your heart, you will find that it’s possible to get over him. That even if he’s the one you’re wanting to settle down with, it’s still possible that you can find someone better. There will be a time when your feelings won’t hurt anymore each time you remember him.
A day will come when you will stop looking for him everywhere you go. Because by then, you will be mature enough to realize that you deserve better than a guy who can’t love you back.
THOUGHT CATALOG